Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Fidg at 15 months

You are fifteen months old today, dear daughter. If you look back, I make lots of "where did the time go" comments in other monthly posts. All lies.  Parents are supposed to comment on flying time.  We're not supposed to say "hold lord, this takes FOREVER."  For a lot of the early months, that was my feeling.  These last 3 months, though, since you turned 1 year old, really do seem compressed.  I'm surprised that Easter was over a month ago. I'm surprised you look three months older, even though you are, indeed, three months older.

There's a lot of babbling still. You talk to us endlessly.   English words-wise, we're still pretty consistent with Cat, your version of Daddy, and now "nana" for banana and "cheeesssssse" for cheese and "chipssss" for chips but that sounds a lot like "shit" half the time, too.  "Cup" comes and goes.  And some syllable for "that" or "this" is common too, paired with pointing and wild gesticulation when you want something not immediately provided to you.

The tantrums are there. If we take away a toy that will surely blind, impail, or maim you presently, you demonstrate Center Stage levels of upper back flexibility, shriek, and throw yourself to the ground.  It's not really your best look.

We're coming closer to a time where discipline is going to be a thing we need to address. To do to you.  For now, distracting you or replacing one thing with another thing seems to be the best way to go, but I am slightly afraid of raising a monster. More precisely, I'm very afraid of my mother thinking I'm raising a monster. 

The crushing responsibility of raising a person weighs on me. For the first year, we were focused on raising a human being: feeding you, sheltering you, watering you, etc.  But it's your person I'm most concerned with now (when you're not running with pointy things, that is).  What if my kid is the mean one? The spoilt one? The one clearly indulged by her doting, doltish parents?  What if you're the mean-in-the-mathematical-sense one? I have to teach you to be kind. To share. To use your turn signal.  To not text during movies, parties, social gatherings, or church services.  To practice safe, kind facebooking.  Wow, I mean, wow. I don't want to screw you up.

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