Thursday, January 27, 2011

Small rage, Bigger Rage

Small rage:

You'd think after the last post . . . .

Dad tells me about a cupcake decoration that Martha featured on a Today Show bit.  So I tell him about how impressed I am by marketers' database management and how we got an entire catalog filled with 1st birthday decorations.  And he says, no, see the Martha thing is you can do it all yourself.

Rage.

Bigger Rage:

Meeting with a group of clients yesterday (and here's where I'll break my cardinal rule and semi-discuss the day job).  Coworker with me is a new guy, similar age, wearing a suit (as am I), and also presenting information to said group of clients.  In terms of who's doing the talking, it's probably 70/30 me to him.  At one point, a client asks, "so you're both lawyers?"  Coworker says no. I say, he will be soon! He says, yes, I'm taking the bar in the summer. Client says, to the coworker, "are you going into politics later? Because you have sort of a Gavin Newsom thing going on."

Rage.

Why does this make me angry?  Oh let's sort of stream of consciousness our way through this, shall we?  Because client knew we were lawyers too. I was nicely turned out, like coworker, I was doing more of the talking than the coworker, giving them information, making them laugh, mending the fences.  But who looks like they could have a career in politics? The coworker. Because. he's. a. man. He can connect to these manly client men in manly ways. Or some shit, I don't know. He doesn't actually look like Gavin Newsom. In fact, I don't even think he likes Gavin Newsom.  But women don't look like they'll go into politics because we don't see enough women in politics.  And maybe this is an unfair jump-to-conclusions, but even if I looked physically like Hillary or Nancy or Barbara or even Michelle Obama, the questions wouldn't be "so you'll go into politics," they'd be unspoken, so will you bust my balls or get a lot of cosmetic work done?

I can't fully explain the complex bag of emotions that ran through my soul - and likely across my face - in that moment. But Rage was probably foremost among them.

Eff that, world. Clearly, I have a lot of work I should be doing. Because I have a daughter now and she deserves better - and more - potentially applicable assumptions than what she'd get right now.

Wait a minute, I'm not done.  Here's another thing. Because of that comment, my coworker, who had just said during a previous trip he didn't really think he'd go the political direction, he might decide to run for office. That kind of comment makes people take chances and run for office. But people don't say that to women! They don't say it to girls! They just don't make those connections.  No one suggests, no one requests, and women don't run. I'm giving some money to Emerge rightnow.

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