Lately I've been thinking a lot about the early postpartum days. The ones I hated.
I've been thinking a lot about the other moms, too, the ones who welcomed 2010 babies. I've been looking at facebook pictures of fun holiday outings some of these other new moms have taken with non-mom friends (outings to which I wasn't invited - but that was another pity-party post). I recently saw a mom of a 10 day old out and about and visiting and thought, again, what did I do wrong? Why did it take me so long to get out of the house? Why was I so weak, lazy, so behind, why am I still behind now?
Maybe I wasn't behind. Maybe everyone else was just unnecessarily ahead. I wish I had the strength at the time to tell the few voices hurrying me along to STFU. Frankly, even now, I'm clearly not as advanced as some would like me to be. At the same time (brief pity party return), I wish people would issue invitations, even if I have to turn them down because of the continued demands of breast feeding and bedtimes.
Motherhood continues to be very lonely in some ways. I can't imagine how much worse it would be without my other mom friends.
I can't believe that there was a time I found the concept of a moms group off-putting. Having support form others going through new motherhood at the same time has been essential. I feel extremely fortunate to have both an (often virtual) moms group of you ladies I've known for 12 years as well as an in-person group of new, local friends. It is all of you who understand the limitations of this new motherhood gig. We can't be who we used to be, plain and simple. We are something different now, better I think, but still people capable of fewer outings. That's OK. We do what we can for now and will do much more later. I know when Riley no longer wants to spend time with me and I have all the time in the world for parties, political events, volunteering, etc. I will long for the days when I could just stay home and hug him.
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